Throwback Thursday Presents: Beer Jewelry?

**This post was originally published on V1 of the HotChicksColdBeerblog, on April 13th, 2012. Churchkey Beer is still available today up-and-down the West Coast. 

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Warning, this beer is NOT beer-pong friendly.

Accessories are important.

Watches tell time. Belts keep your pants up.  But accessories, for your beer? This, I’ve gotta see…..

Enter, Churchkey Can Company, who’s flat-top can scoffs at the ease of traditional pull-tabs – requiring the drinker, or their friendly barkeep,  to (aggressively) stab opposing sides of the can’s top with an old-school church key (also known as the thing you use to open a can of  Hersey’s syrup, or in this case….beer jewelry), just to get a taste.

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As featured at RN74 in Downtown Seattle.

My immediate reaction to the 100-percent recyclable steel packaging combining, “All the beer-friendly benefits of a metal can with a tip of the hat to the past,”?

HIPster!

The indy-nod should come as no surprise considering the origin of the recipe, (Micro brewers from Portlandia) and their local production partner,  Two Beers, in Seattle (recently name America’s most “Hipster” city by Travel and Leisure Magazine).

If the, I-gotta-try-it packaging doesn’t sell you, their (unofficial) spokesman and co-founder, Adrian Grenier, might. Although he didn’t have time to talk to me during his recent visit,  It’s fair to assume that he’s, ‘Drinking the Kool-Aid.’

If it’s good enough for a Hollywood star (who’s major movie debut was, You Drive Me Crazy, co-staring Melissa Joan Hart), then it’s good enough for me.

So one sun-challenged afternoon last week, I picked up a 6-pack, complete with complementary Churchkey beer jewelry, and settled in for a trial-run. Below is the play-by-play:

Me: (Looking at the packaging) “Pretty sure Team Adrian stole this design from Pinterest.”

Grabs enclosed beer jewelry to open can. Attempts first puncture.

*Chhhhhick!* Puncture one, a success. Now side two….

*Chhhhhhhhh——POW!*  Not so successful. Beer, Super-Soaker gun-style, sprays out of can, hits ceiling/walls. My arm is wet. Beer drips on my head from above.

Me (audibly): “Damn it Adrian!”

This is Adrian. He’s smiling because he knows what’s about to happen.

Now I’m looking pathetically at my beer – half full, (the other half is in my hair) wondering how I managed to smell like a bar, before ever taking a drink. Unphased, I raise what’s left in the can to my lips. Was it worth the booze shower?

“Ehhhhh……”

I don’t NOT like it.

But is carrying beer jewelry and bathing in booze each time I want a (can of) beer worth it? Sorry (Adrian), for me, the answer is no.

There’s a lesson in every one of life experiment’s, (and this was, an experiment). Although ‘getting canned,’ with Adrian wasn’t what I had hoped, it did lead me to an important conclusion: Combining three things I normally enjoy,  ( jewelry, handsome movie stars, beer), may simply be,  “Too much of a good thing.”

It’s not you Adrian, it’s the Beer.

And now, this week’s recommendation:

It’s baseball beer and it’s delicious.

Just in-time for the Mariner’s home opener, it’s your beer garden go-to; Apricot Ale from Safeco’s pre-funk partner, Pyramid Brewery. It’s like biting into a beer-filled apricot, in a good way.

Looking for some food to soak up the suds? Check out Eater Seattle‘s guide to dining at Safeco. Thirsty again? Bookmark Washington Beer Blog for quick assess to your in-stadium beer options.

So what did YOU drink on opening day??

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